Meet My Other Wife

No, I’m not a polygamist. But every couple of months, my wife leaves me for a week or two. She leaves early in the morning, she comes home well after I’m asleep. We barely exchange a text message in the hours we’re both awake. Cooking dinner, laundry, grocery shopping, taking care of the house, any Crafty Broads stuff that needs to be done is all on me. Sometimes, if I’m feeling generous, I’ll pack her a lunch or a snack to take with her.

I’m talking, of course, about the Theatre. It is a magical place, except during that period of time right before a show opens, known as Hell Week Tech. When you’re in the midst of it, it seems unending. You feel like you will never see your significant other again. In those fleeting moments when you catch a glimpse of each other, you’re cranky and tired and you bite each others’ heads off. When alone, you pine for even five minutes to talk about your days.


(And it sucks extra when the show is going hellishly and people are being jerks and everyone is extra-stressed as a result.)

Thankfully, Tech always ends. Usually within a week or so. (Unless you are this show.) And then, there is Opening Night. Where they attempt to appease the nightmares of the previous week by treating you to free food and libations. And it usually works.

So here’s to another opening of another show tonight! And more importantly, to the fact that I’ll have my wife back by this time tomorrow.

Until the next one, anyway.