RANT: Stay Home

Dear Sick People,
Are you sick? Ok, then STAY HOME. Don’t go to visit your friends, get your hair cut, and run to the post office. If you have no one to do it for you, you can go to the store for cold medicine and juice. You’re also allowed to visit the doctor, if you need to. But that’s it. STAY HOME PLEASE.

Self-employed? Then you need to have a plan for what happens when you’re sick. Because I guarantee your clients would not like a bonus cold with their purchase. (Work from home? Work if you must, then. But I suggest you take a day to rest if you aren’t up against a deadline, because it will make your cold go away faster.)

Can’t afford to stay home from work? I totally get that. Which brings me to:

Dear Employers,
Do you employ people? Did you know sick employees are less efficient at their jobs, and that costs you more than if you let them stay home and rest? (Also, you have to buy more Kleenex.)

You need to give them PAID SICK DAYS, so they can STAY THE EFF HOME and not spread their coughs and colds to everyone in your building. Because I guarantee your customers would not like a bonus cold as a take home gift for their kids.

Which brings me to:

Dear Parents,
If your kid is sick, no matter how “good” they feel at the current moment, do not take them to school, the park, playgroups, or birthday parties. They need to STAY HOME.

You know why? Because little kids, much as we teach them, do not truly understand the concept of germs and how they spread. They may be able to cough into their elbows, or even kind of wipe their noses on their own. But they are not washing their hands regularly, and I guarantee you that when you aren’t looking or when you can’t catch them in time, they are totally wiping drippy noses with the backs of their hands and then continuing to play with communal toys and touch the other little kids. Who are then putting their newly-germed hands into their own mouths. And later into yours, and probably Grandma’s too.

Which brings me to:

Dear Grandparents,
We know how much you love your grandbabies, but if YOU are sick, do NOT go visit them, kiss them, let them stick their fingers in your mouth, and share your grown up spoon with them. STAY HOME.

Because those little people spread germs like wildfire (see above) and I guarantee you that their nannies are really, really tired of getting every single cold in the universe because no one can keep their germs to themselves.

In summary: